Hello, this is Jared. Kate asked me to make this post myself. This story has two parts.
Part 1:
Katelin is always telling me that she wants to make blog posts about the funny things that our kids say, but that she can never remember them while she is blogging. Well John said something today that is definitely memorable. He and Sara have developed the (to them) hilarious habit of locking me and Kate out of the car. John did this today as we left church, and I told him when he got home he was going to get a time out. Kate and I had driven separate cars to church., so on the way home she was with the kids and I was following. She said that John was pretty concerned about his impending time out. She told him to ask me when we got home if there was anything he could do to not get a time out. After she said this, taking inspiration from Kung-fu Panda, John said: "If that doesn't work, maybe I can just defeat him."
Part 2:
When we got home, as I was getting the kids out of the car, John made a heartfelt appeal to not get a time out, and I mercifully pardoned him. Then, standing in a dark garage, Katelin told me about his plan to defeat me if I had not done things his way. I thought it was so funny, I doubled over laughing, forgetting that I was standing directly over the poorly built and awkwardly placed antenna on a 1992 Accord. The antenna went between my eye and my lower eyelid, far and hard. After performing the requisite Dance of Pain with my hands covering my face, I went in the bathroom and to put it simply, my eyeball was bleeding. I went to the ER and they said I had a corneal abrasion and a subconjuctival hemorrhage. They prescribed antibiotics, Vicodin, and a tetanus shot. (Luckily I was able to pass on the tetanus shot. They are required within 5 years of each stupid injury, and as I have never gone 5 years without a stupid injury, I am always current. Recall, if you will, the episode from last season involving a missing fish, a gallant attempt to retrieve it, and the unfortunate encounter with the Underwater Rock Embedded With Glass). Anyway, when I got home, I attempted to make an adjustment to the antenna so this wouldn't happen again. I guess I was applying too much pressure, because it broke off in my hand. The garage is safe for laughter again.
The Moral of the Story:
In an odd sort of way, even though I pardoned him, I can't shake the feeling that John somehow really did defeat me.
Part 1:
Katelin is always telling me that she wants to make blog posts about the funny things that our kids say, but that she can never remember them while she is blogging. Well John said something today that is definitely memorable. He and Sara have developed the (to them) hilarious habit of locking me and Kate out of the car. John did this today as we left church, and I told him when he got home he was going to get a time out. Kate and I had driven separate cars to church., so on the way home she was with the kids and I was following. She said that John was pretty concerned about his impending time out. She told him to ask me when we got home if there was anything he could do to not get a time out. After she said this, taking inspiration from Kung-fu Panda, John said: "If that doesn't work, maybe I can just defeat him."
Part 2:
When we got home, as I was getting the kids out of the car, John made a heartfelt appeal to not get a time out, and I mercifully pardoned him. Then, standing in a dark garage, Katelin told me about his plan to defeat me if I had not done things his way. I thought it was so funny, I doubled over laughing, forgetting that I was standing directly over the poorly built and awkwardly placed antenna on a 1992 Accord. The antenna went between my eye and my lower eyelid, far and hard. After performing the requisite Dance of Pain with my hands covering my face, I went in the bathroom and to put it simply, my eyeball was bleeding. I went to the ER and they said I had a corneal abrasion and a subconjuctival hemorrhage. They prescribed antibiotics, Vicodin, and a tetanus shot. (Luckily I was able to pass on the tetanus shot. They are required within 5 years of each stupid injury, and as I have never gone 5 years without a stupid injury, I am always current. Recall, if you will, the episode from last season involving a missing fish, a gallant attempt to retrieve it, and the unfortunate encounter with the Underwater Rock Embedded With Glass). Anyway, when I got home, I attempted to make an adjustment to the antenna so this wouldn't happen again. I guess I was applying too much pressure, because it broke off in my hand. The garage is safe for laughter again.
The Moral of the Story:
In an odd sort of way, even though I pardoned him, I can't shake the feeling that John somehow really did defeat me.
10 comments:
I have to say I was rolling on the floor laughing when I read that. Then I had to share it with Brian! You could write a book with all of your stories!! Thanks for sharing! You have to write the John Prayer story!
That was awesome. I'll have to defeat him. Hilarious. Sorry about your eye though. Ouch.
Emma, be careful--rolling on the floor laughing is what got Jared into this mess! :o)
You already know why I think this happened. Next time I ask you a favor don't say, "Not even if God asked me." But I am glad you got off with a warning and no permanent damage.
Oh my nasty picture! That is horrible. It looks like it really hurts. I get what you mean about tetanus shots. Mine has never run out either (thanks to the cheese grater incident of '05, I remain current).
You might as well give him the credit - John totally defeated you with his Kung Fu powers. That kid is amazing. You better watch out.
That story is hilarious and that eye injury is awful. Hope you feel better soon!
dude, that really looks like it hurt. glad that it wasn't worse than that. it was a pretty funny story though.
Yeah, I wouldn't mess with John! If he's got those kind of powers at age 4, oh man!
I hope it heals quickly, OUCH!! That looks really painful. Good luck with that!
Too funny. Sorry your pain makes me laugh so much!!! hope ur doing better
Almost wet myself from laughing while reading this. You should have put a warning on it. That is a good idea to write more of the funny stuff our kids say.
Off subject a little but I wanted to tell you something funny John said on Friday. I meant to tell you that day but.... anyway when we were pretending to visit the different countries one of them was the Ukraine. John was really concerned with how it was spelled so I kept showing him the word and helping him spell it out. THen he looks at me and says "Guess what?" "What" "That's Ukraine. You know what else is a crane? A BIRD!"
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